Uni G Book Club

First Assignment: Memoirs of a Beautiful Boy. I say we meet up with bottles of Hyp and discuss in two weeks:

Robert Leleux grew up in a teeny rural town outside of Houston, and the highlight of his week was escaping to Neimans with his wildly eccentric mom to get their hair and nails done. The hilarious Memoirs of a Beautiful Boy chronicles Robert’s eventual coming out and the torture his mom endures to snag a rich husband (from botched lip injections to shaving her scalp for a custom wig).

Pop Quiz - "Blow me awake"

Please write, in whatever format you find appropriate, your thoughts on the concept of Text Message Booty Calls. Points to discuss include when (if ever) this is appropriate, how one should respond, what happens later if one rejects the offer and anything else you have to say on the matter.

Guaranteed Admission to UGMo

As the Fall Semester begins, I know many high school seniors are beginning to prepare their applications for admission to the esteemed University of GuantanaMontrose for next year. I just wanted to provide a quick tip for those who aspire to join our wonderful academic society: Be sure to include evidence of ways in which you embody the spirit and ideals upon which UniG was founded. Here is an example of some precocious young girls who were already hoping to be accepted way back in 2002 before our university was even created:

These girls exhibit their extreme love of queso, which is one of the important criteria for being accepted to UGMo.

Please be sure to complete your applications and submit them for review by the Chancellor and Deans no later than December 15th, 2009. After that date, the entire UniG faculty and staff will be too wasted to know what an application even is. Thank you.

Uni G Employee of the Week

Last thursday in the hallowed booths of Guava, Tour Guide Ray instated the new tradition of "employee of the week." As staff, he is used to being under-appreciated and could more easily see the necessity of this, and declared Thursday, August 27 through Thursday, September 3rd "THE WEEK OF HALOISE."

We cherish our haloise for the following reasons:

• bringing us lulz
• being the unofficial historian of UGMo
• being a hetero and being still
• owning cats

Cheers to you, hallie. Enjoy your week. Cause once it's over, we'll be back to untagging facebook photos you tag us in and hating you for having other friends.

Srzly...