Garfield minus Garfield
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Global Express
According to our sitemeter, we have a reader in Dubai!!
Just thought y'all should know.
Also, I just wanted to ask our reader in Dubai to please not hate me for pointing out the hypocrisy of his/her/this mermaid's land. I do not hate you as an individual; I just think your country (or rather unjust/undemocratic/suppressive kingdom) is a horrible hypocritical cauldron of sin. Anyway, enjoy your indoor, energy-sucking ski-slope and shit.
Puhleeeze
Apparently, we have competition. A nonexistent neighborhood has formed out of the ashes of Ike and possibly the warehouse party Hallie, Jpatt, Karate Kid and I snuck into last fall. This comes like "a unicorn getting punched in the face," a phrase used by one EaDo promoter.
Reasons SoMo (South Montrose) beats EaDo (East Downtown):
-SoMo has greater access to TAs and guys Jpatt thinks are cute. It's also closer to the toho residents' OTL physicians/therapists/hot tub.
-EaDo has greater access to the ship channel? idek.
-SoMo has both martini bars and numerous late night TexMex hotspots.
-EaDo probably does have Ninfa's on Navigation, but that is not where "the beauitful people meet to eat."
-SoMo is a much shorter walk from karaoke at The Cellar.
-EaDo may have a grafitti "art" gallery, but SoMo has a world-class university and a classy CVS with fun, "dynamic" employees.
-Amtrak does not service EaDo.
Both seem to be equidistant to Samantha Ronson's chosen venue, but we're working on an expansion project of the patio at the toho to lure her into our sexy domain.
Reasons SoMo (South Montrose) beats EaDo (East Downtown):
-SoMo has greater access to TAs and guys Jpatt thinks are cute. It's also closer to the toho residents' OTL physicians/therapists/hot tub.
-EaDo has greater access to the ship channel? idek.
-SoMo has both martini bars and numerous late night TexMex hotspots.
-EaDo probably does have Ninfa's on Navigation, but that is not where "the beauitful people meet to eat."
-SoMo is a much shorter walk from karaoke at The Cellar.
-EaDo may have a grafitti "art" gallery, but SoMo has a world-class university and a classy CVS with fun, "dynamic" employees.
-Amtrak does not service EaDo.
Both seem to be equidistant to Samantha Ronson's chosen venue, but we're working on an expansion project of the patio at the toho to lure her into our sexy domain.
Mixology 101
Personal experience speaks louder than words. Let's just say I've had a few of these, and MMMmmmMmMmmmmMmmm, GOTTA LOVE 'EM!
1 part water mixed with an emergen-C packet
1 part vodka
Put vodka in shaker with ice, shake until cold. Put vodka in martini glass, add water, add E-mergency packet. Stir. Serve. Enjoy!
Monday, February 2, 2009
ew, sick!
I contacted the University of Guantanamontrose Health Department today, and together we regret to inform students and faculty that I, the Department Chair of Drama Llama Studies, have fallen ill. As a safety precaution, we ask that everyone gets a meningitis vaccine. (Or, as an equally effective alternative to the costly vaccine, students can add a package of Emergen-C to their vodka.)
I do not have meningitis nor have I been in contact with anyone with the disease. However, as a prestigious university we feel obligated to have at least one meningitis scare per semester.
I'm currently following in the footsteps of the heroic Tour Guide Ray and completely denying my illness. Tomorrow I will attend the much anticipated indie debauchery of Broken Social Scene in order to meet SHSGs and hipsters as research for my 2009 thesis, tentatively titled "Failing at Dating in the 'Strose."
I do not have meningitis nor have I been in contact with anyone with the disease. However, as a prestigious university we feel obligated to have at least one meningitis scare per semester.
I'm currently following in the footsteps of the heroic Tour Guide Ray and completely denying my illness. Tomorrow I will attend the much anticipated indie debauchery of Broken Social Scene in order to meet SHSGs and hipsters as research for my 2009 thesis, tentatively titled "Failing at Dating in the 'Strose."
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