Sunday, September 27, 2009

Benevenstanciano and McGillicutty: Attorneys at LOL

Have you been the victim of a recent LOLZ related incident that resulted in pain, mental anguish, and mockery from the Uni staff? Well, we here at Benevenstanciano and McGillicutty are willing to fight for YOU with a frivolous lawsuit so you’ll receive the maximum amount of financial restitution the law allows!

• Have your friends set up a facebook profile of you that has traveled back from the future to warn you not to do whatever you’re about to do? We’ll sue them for harassment and identity theft!

• Have you actually traveled back from the future so you could set up a facebook profile warning you not to do whatever you are about to do? We’ll sue you for harassment and identity theft!

• Was your cell accessed while you were drunk and your friends used it to updated your Twitter saying you got an STD from poultry? We’ll sue for cell phone tresspassery and Turpes medication!

• Did you have to listen to more than three minutes of the Dean of Drama Llama Studies yammer on about her train wreck of a love life? We’ll sue JPatt for crimes against humanity!

• Has all the other Uni staff been making fun of you for being so grody that you snorted crushed up methadone? Well, we rly can’t do anything because that is totes grody as hell…

• Were you tricked into believing one of your friends was arrested for shoving a waitress because she spilled ranch dressing on his pants? We’ll sue so that he’ll really have to get arrested for shoving a waitress because she spilled ranch dressing on his pants!


We here at Benevenstanciano and McGillicutty want to make sure that if you’re the victim of teh LULZ, we’ll file that frivolous lawsuit to show your friends that they can’t ever fuck around with you!

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