The Caribbean

So I just got back from a family vacation. A cruise, I am ashamed to say, and even worse, I loved it. The only thing more shameful than going on a cruise is to admit you actually loved it. So, shit, I'm afraid my class-o-meter just dropped a few bars. Anyway, in honor of the past 12 days, I'd like to share the highlights of my "Poorest Islands in the World" adventure with you.

1. An army officer from South Dakota with a faux-hawk, two pierced nipples, a tattoo of a bulldog, and a tattoo of the grim-reaper holding a bulldog.
2. Three girls taking shots at 9am before sailing a racing catamaran.
3. Wrecking a racing catamaran onto a sandbar with said three girls.
4. Riding on a school bus named "Purple Haze." Yes, the bus was purple.
5. Seeing drug dogs at every port BUT in Cartagena, Columbia.
6. Repeatedly being approached to buy cocaine, but only when walking with my parents.
7. Running on a treadmill at 3 am in a crowed gym while a 12 year-old smoked pot on the deck right outside.
8. Seeing an old lady fall off the treadmill when she realized it was her grandson.
9. Seeing a 400 pound drunk man in a speedo break one of the palm trees to which his hammock was tied.
10. Stripping down to my underwear, wearing a friend's bra, and my mom's heels all to win a bottle of champagne.
11. Not getting hungover once.