Dubai

When I came home from step aerobics this evening I overheard Ray say something about Dubai. I google imaged that shit, and OH MY GOD LET'S GO THERE!

I'm not really sure where/what it is, but let's fucking go!




omgz!

I think I read an US Weekly article about this place. (Did J-Anniston go there? Probs. She goes everywhere cool.) From what I gathered it's all the hedonism and glitz of Vegas with shiny, cray-cray architecture and beaches beaches BEACHES! Do you see the shore line? Look at that first picture again.

*sigh*

It's too bad that Australia is so far away.

Fuck Dubai

I hate Dubai. It is the most disgusting place on Earth. Any city that submits to a culture that oppresses women, gays, poor people and simultaneously harbors terrorist capital should not be making a living on the most ornate and ostentatious development of sin and pleasure since Las Vegas. Where on Earth is all their money coming from? I know it's not oil (only 6% of GDP according to Wiki;) so clearly, it's from terrorists. Am I the only one who sees this? They're sucking Westerners in to gamble, drink, and fuck prostitutes; then they allow and even support organizations that later will fly jet liners into our office buildings. 

Why the fuck do you need to go to Dubai? To see a flat desert that's been drained of oil? To shop at the biggest Prada store in the world? To go fucking skiing?! I do not get it. Dubai sucks!!! I'm so angry right now!!!

GRRRRRR!!!

done.

I was tagging various labels to this post when I realized that maybe Dubai isn't so bad... I mean, I basically can tag any label to this post because Dubai is so fucking redic. that it works. Ugh. I lose...

The Caribbean

So I just got back from a family vacation. A cruise, I am ashamed to say, and even worse, I loved it. The only thing more shameful than going on a cruise is to admit you actually loved it. So, shit, I'm afraid my class-o-meter just dropped a few bars. Anyway, in honor of the past 12 days, I'd like to share the highlights of my "Poorest Islands in the World" adventure with you.

1. An army officer from South Dakota with a faux-hawk, two pierced nipples, a tattoo of a bulldog, and a tattoo of the grim-reaper holding a bulldog.
2. Three girls taking shots at 9am before sailing a racing catamaran.
3. Wrecking a racing catamaran onto a sandbar with said three girls.
4. Riding on a school bus named "Purple Haze." Yes, the bus was purple.
5. Seeing drug dogs at every port BUT in Cartagena, Columbia.
6. Repeatedly being approached to buy cocaine, but only when walking with my parents.
7. Running on a treadmill at 3 am in a crowed gym while a 12 year-old smoked pot on the deck right outside.
8. Seeing an old lady fall off the treadmill when she realized it was her grandson.
9. Seeing a 400 pound drunk man in a speedo break one of the palm trees to which his hammock was tied.
10. Stripping down to my underwear, wearing a friend's bra, and my mom's heels all to win a bottle of champagne.
11. Not getting hungover once.