The Return of Don

Remember the cat judger/wine taster/guy that "gets emails"? Well, he has made a comeback. Although he is not meant to matriculate until fall 09, Don is already getting a jumpstart on his college workload. Just like any other student, Don goes to the library and pretends to do work. He even goes as far as to bring a large binder. His critical error however, is forgetting to open it as he plays solitaire and frequents an alternative social networking site on the computer. Here at Uni GuantanaMontrose we do not condone the abuse of public resources, but if you must, we would encourage you all to sporcle. or at least play spider solitaire

Don: Cat Judger Extraordinaire

Last night a met a man... a man of many talents, and of weird, awkward sentences.

setting: BYOB coffeehouse
event: UNC vs. Duke Battle of the Bands

I feel a tap on my shoulder and a middle-aged man says "you thirsty?" and gestures towards my Colt 45. I laugh and wait for him to make his comment on the fact that i was drinking a 40, but this does not happen. What ensues is either the result of this man being a compulsive liar or mildly mentally disabled. He was WAF, but I couldn't help myself and spent the whole evening going back for more. I will now list the facts about Don in the order they were revealed to me.

1. Don is a professional wine taster for supermarkets. He drinks "world wines," and his last gig was a few weeks ago at the Kroger on 15-501.
2. To supplement his wine tasting income, Don judges cats. "I'm a cat judger" is what he tells me. "You know, CFA... Cat Fanciers' Association?"
3. Don got into the cat judging industry through his family. He grew up with cats. (Pure breads?)- "Mostly."
4. Don also works at a restaurant at RDU airport.
5. Don was in attendance at a college student event because he "gets emails." (Are you affiliated with Duke in any way?)- "No. but I'm coming here the fall." (Wow, interesting... what are you going to major in?)- "Physics."
6. As soon as Don graduates from Duke with his physics degree, he's going to the culinary institute, because he ultimately wants to be a chef.
7. In high school, Don had the highest GPA in his county- a 4.9.
8. Don attended to a "career high school" (career for what- physics?)- "No. graphic design. and the commercial food service industry"

I don't know what Don is up to today, but it probably involves the CFA and his studio apartment "over by the elementary school." I hope to see Don again some day...and find out of more of his many talents. Or maybe instead I'll find out there's an episode of candid camera with me on it, entertaining an obviously paid actor.

Benelux? More like BeneLIARS (or BeneSUX, wdek, Jpatt and I can't decide and Ray hates both titles)

Okay soo Benelux (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg) has a population of 27,598,666. The Netherlands has 16,440,113 people. So Uni Guantanamontrose wants to know how it is possible that the Netherlands' largest city, Amsterdam, has such a small population of 747,290, yet the nation still manages to boast millions more. True, other large cities exist: Rotterdam, the Hague and Utrecht, along with Amsterdam, form the Randstad, which according to the Amsterdammy wiki article, has 7 million inhabitants, but is cited to have a population of 7.5 on the self-titled Randstad page. Um sorry but there are not 10 million rural Dutch people just hanging out in windmills and smoking dank pot. The Randstad just becomes more and more shady! See: when other "conurbations" (SO not a word PS) connected to this area are also taken into consideration, it would have a population a little over 10 million, almost 2/3 of the entire Dutch population. I really don't know who to believe. Uni Guantamontrose realizes that the Netherlands is a peace-loving low-lying nether region (and our personal fav continent) and our biggest enemies are terrorist states, but still... just be honest guys.