Saturday, May 23, 2009

Abortions that Should Have been Accessed

I'm currently participating in a symposium with Dean of Drama Llama Studies and Visiting Professor of Europedancepop on the top floor of the ToHo (site of sterile sex and Sas's fav shoes). Our topic focuses on people that should have been aborted. Babies are scary anyway, as exhibited by this picture:

1. Christina Ricci and Christina Ricci's kid:

(She looks like a scary version of our friend Mary Anne Taylor [codename: Mary Richards], and I doubt that she would mix vodka and rum quite as well at a Raj party.)
EDIT BY DRAMA LLAMA: Christina Ricci doesn't even have a kid to abort, nor should she be aborted. I was talking about Nicole Richie. That girl is rl scurrrrry! And she stole my boyf.

2. Hallie and Dan's kid:


3. Bristol Palin's kid

4. Sarah Palin's youngest kid... what is his name? Track? Trag? Train (wreck)?

5. Or Sarah Palin could have just been aborted to avoid the whole clusterfuck.

4. The fucker from the Trojan website who sent the ToHo only ONE free condom. (EDIT BY DRAMA LLAMA: Love Campaign mails you 12 in a red envelope with a heart and you can order them up to six times a month!)

5. Genghis Khan - he raped all the women of Asia and 20% of the population of the continent is now related to him. Gross.

6. Suri Cruise. Except that her Asian parents ended up having her and sold her to Tomkat (Suri only eats with chopsticks! Didn't you read the June 1 issue of Star?) But yeah Genghis Khan is basically Suri's dad especially since Tom Cruise is gay.

7. All the Russel(l)s that JPatt dated, is dating, or wants to date, 1-∞

8. Whoever invented Hot Pockets (but not Lean Pockets... I love that shit.)

9. The fucktard who stole our handle of Tito's that one time. Yes, he had major aborsh potensh.

10. Not Kathy Griffin.

Kathy channeling Tracie Egan channeling Lindsay Lohan channeling my boyfriend Ray after the Roxy.

Kathy channeling Paris Hilton

11. Paris Hilton herself should have def been aborted though.
11. Most Virgos. Especially if they took our Tito's.

12. Matt Thompson from Montreal (Our imaginary friend EVIL-lyn was there for all the rulzy drama, ask her).

13. Five out of the eight Gosselins' behbehs.

14. Tim's imaginary child (Tim! You DON'T have a kid and the dead squirrel in the baby crib is weird [although it does look like you]).

15. Definitely Samantha and Masons' baby from Fling (also released under the alternate title Lie to Me).
(Yes, I watched the movie twice, and the second time was even more amazing than the first.)

16. The twink slave who cut us off at Taco C on New Years. (If ur reading this: u suk).

1 comment:

  1. Oh god I hate babies and that one is soooo creepy looking. DNW.

    I don't think it really looks like either of us though.