Eng 3396: Forgotten Classics of the Modern Western Tradition

With Summer Session A rapidly drawing to a conclusion, it is time for students to begin planning their enrollment in Summer Session B classes. I am excited to announce that along with our normal selection of classes, I will be teaching Eng 3396: Forgotten Classics of the Modern Western Tradition, featuring the following:

Written by F. Scott Fitzgerald under the pseudonym of Albina Jackson, this once controversial historical romance set in St. Bernard Parish examines the corrupt state government of Louisiana that was responsible for the construction of defective 'dusky system' of dykes and levies that resulted in the Great Mississippi Flood of 1927. After gradually fading from the literary limelight, the almost identical levy failures in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina projected the novel back into the hands of readers. Critics have described the book as “An American classic!” “Important reading, a perfect example of how history is doomed to repeat itself.” and “Excellent, despite the highly misleading title and cover art…”.

Considered to be the originator of the FNS (Fantasy National Socialism) genre, John Christopher’s groundbreaking novel, The Little People, examines the outcome of a world where the Leprechauns of Ireland have allied themselves with the Third Reich. Despite being the influence for such well known FNS novels as JJR Tolkien’s The Two Guard Towers and KJ Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Hitler-Jugend, Christopher’s novel has languished in obscurity.

Most UGM students will recognize “devil’s elbow” as the street name for particularly potent brand of hash infamous for having wrecked our esteemed Chancellor last Halloween. The name is taken from Brainerd Cheney’s agrianist classic of the same name. Examining post-Reconstruction Era Georgia, The Devil’s Elbow deals with the need for a return to a more simplistic, antebellum way of life, free of the corruption found in urban environments. Much like the hash it shares a moniker with, it will mess your prissy ass up if you don’t know how to handle it.

Special Topics class

With early registration for the Fall 09 semester quickly approaching, we are pleased to inform students of a new Special Topics class in the Uni’s Macro department: “National LULZism: Macros of WW2, the Third Reich, and anti-Semitism.” The class will explore the long and illustrious history of such macros from their earliest appearances on the interwebs:

to more contemporary pieces:

Each macro will be examined and critiqued by the students, using LOLgic, Whut?, and “OMG, that’s so racist!”, to determine how macros such as these:

bring the LULZ and to what extent.

Do you want to smell my memories?

After briefly accessing a somewhat mediocre party thrown by students of a rival university, we retired to the SoMoToHo. We ranged from the completely sober to the so-wasted-I'll-just-pass-out-in-this-car. More drinks were had by some and things seemed to be going along as usual until suddenly everyone else went to bed or were otherwise engaged somehow, leaving the Dean of LULZtography and myself to entertain some very odd fellows. Entertain is not so much the correct word. Maybe something more along the lines of "suffer through hours of conversation with because they would not leave." We employed many methods to try to give these people a clue that they could go now, including, but not limited to, discussing the Ol' Straw Penis and developing a ridiculous lie about a family of snake handlers in Tennessee. Our best efforts were shot down and we suffered on, each at least thankful for the other's presence so we didn't have to go it alone. I'm all for meeting people and making new friends but there are some who are just N.Q.O.K. and should not be allowed to waste the time of P.L.U. One of the guys may have not been aware that Barack Obama is now the president of the United States. The other may have not been aware that it is not actually 1995 anymore and that we weren't casting for an Office Space sequel. Needless to say, these two will NOT be offered admission to the university and if they attempt to access our parties again, the University Police may have to be called to remove them from the premises. 

At least they weren't hipsters though.

LOLspeak Lesson

LOLocaust:

Etymology
From internet slang (abbreviation of Laughing Out Loud) and from French holocauste, from Late Latin holocaustum, from the neuter form of Ancient Greek ὁλόκαυστος, from ὅλος (holos), “‘whole’”) + καύστος (kaustos), “‘burnt’”) from καίω (kaiō), “‘I burn’”)

Pronunciation
/'lɒləkɔːst/

Noun
LOLocaust (plural LOLocausts)

LULZ obtained from racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism, or pretty much any other form of bigotry in existance.

Example

* * *

Double the LOLocaust for them interviewing the black guy with the Dutch accent:
“Pouple alvays dou tings that are offensive to eachodter.”