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A Boogie Board + Baby Oil + Houston's Topography = Success

The Departments of Physical Education and Physics proudly announce a new cross-listed course that will be offered in the coming semester: PhysEd 415C/Physics 138: Hill Surfing. The esteemed Dean J.Toy will lead students in an innovative workshop that will combine physical fitness and the scientific method. During week one, students who enroll in this course will start by learning the art of hill surfing with the most basic equipment, cardboard. As they begin to master the techniques and prove their ability, the Dean will provide further instruction to the students on the more advanced method of using an oiled boogie board on the hill. Meanwhile, students will also learn about important principles such as friction, velocity, momentum and balance. After the midterm, the fun will really begin when students will be assigned the challenge of coming up with alternate techniques and equipment to use. Trial and error will be encouraged and all experiments should be well documented and presented to the class to aid in the learning process. The University Health Department reminds all students participating in this activity to exercise caution and wear helmets and/or other protective gear when trying something new in the exciting world of hill surfing.

Enrollment will be limited to approximately 12 students and classes will be held MWTh 7:00-8:00PM at Eleanor Tinsley Park, adjacent to North Montrose (NoMo).

Special Topics class

With early registration for the Fall 09 semester quickly approaching, we are pleased to inform students of a new Special Topics class in the Uni’s Macro department: “National LULZism: Macros of WW2, the Third Reich, and anti-Semitism.” The class will explore the long and illustrious history of such macros from their earliest appearances on the interwebs:

to more contemporary pieces:

Each macro will be examined and critiqued by the students, using LOLgic, Whut?, and “OMG, that’s so racist!”, to determine how macros such as these:

bring the LULZ and to what extent.

New Course Proposal

I would like to propose a new course to be taught in the UGMo Art
Department: Clever and Offensive Graphic Design. I will request that
the Drama Llama do a guest lecture series. Enrollment will be based on
a review of the students' aptitude for creating and appreciating teh
LULZ.

Publicity

It seems our great university has finally started to get the recognition (scroll down) it deserves. Kudos to Tour Guide Ray for such an insightful article on physical health.

UGMo Faculty Conference Calls

Due to the recent relocations of faculty to the Durham and Portland areas, important correspondence concerning university protocol and events have been forced to take place via satellite. Video chatting and phonography have played crucial roles in maintaining current levels of network integrity, but the discovery of screen sharing has greatly increased the productivity of these meetings. For those unaware, screen sharing allows the individuals to hear and speak to one another, and allows one individual to see and partially take control of the other person's screen, leaving the two to battle over the mouse and keyboard. With cooperation however, sharing provides faculty with a great number of opportunities.

Some suggestions for future screen sharing sessions include:

• ichat another faculty member and ask them to share their screen, thereby giving 3 people control over one screen
• search "porn" in the other person's spotlight
• blog in the other person's name
• take over their itunes and perform karaoke together
  
• youtube every episode of my so-called life...watch them together and design a syllabus for a new course offering
  
• create and apply a new theme for their ichat that includes multiple pictures of patty and sound bites from Danielle, including "this is so unfair- my life is so edited!"
• download and engage in this power hour game; consider combining this option with the first suggestion
• visit a down-low blog and discuss the implications
• design LOLcats, specifically ones including Lexus and diabetes campaigns

Keep these proposals in mind when conference calls for official Uni business are in order.

University of Guantanamontrose Department of Public Safety announcement

This is a reminder to both faculty and students that unless properly qualified in the fields of animal husbandry and training, dancing bears are not to be kept as pets. With the increased popularity of dancing bears as pets of the rich and famous, the desire to own one yourself is understandable. However, without the knowledge needed to correctly condition such an animal, the results can be disastrous. The university has already had one such accident, the New Years Eve mauling of guest lecturer Peter.

Visiting the university to provide a three part lecture on the subject of “Fail at life,” Peter was fortunate to have escaped with only minor abrasions and puncture wounds to his neck. He was recovered enough in a week to be prowling Prof. Rosenberg’s party for drunk, desperate women, but the next victim of a dancing bear attack may not be so lucky. We cannot reiterate this point enough; unless your are trained in the required areas of expertise, you should not have a dancing bear as a pet.

A graphic reminder of what can happen from an improperly trained dancing bear