Showing posts with label tequila. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tequila. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Term Papers: Impending Doom or Happy Hour in the Model Home?

So my housemate, the every wonderful Princess Bitchette, and I have decided that our term papers (due in approx. 24 hours) are actually not that large of a priority. I have written a 3 page outline that I do not understand, and I have bullshitted two of the twenty pages. Here is my thesis:

"A primary occupation of the novel is the conflict between oral and literary practice and tradition, and the author’s insecurities highlight not only the difficulty of mediating two vastly different traditions of storytelling, but also the greater cultural difficulties that Chamoiseau’s authorial conflict allegorizes."

Anyway, this paper is clearly of high importance, and out of respect for my academic success, I decided I needed to take a break and refuel. Incidentally, Princess Bitchette simultaneously felt a scholarly break was needed. We set down our lappies and rendez-voused in the kitchen. What follows is more or less what took place:

Fig. 1. That is our "alcohol map." 

As Bichette and I snacked in the kitchen, we both realized that in less than a week we would be graduating, moving out, and leaving this chapter of our lives behind. There was clearly work to be done, and priority 1A was making sure that no child bottle of alcohol was left behind! We quickly mapped all the possible cocktail combinations, using a bottle of water as a stand-in for our vodka. The speed and alacrity with which this task was accomplished was truly astonishing, and UniGuantanamontrose has clearly taught me skills much greater than writing papers. An hour after the beginning of my "deserved break" and I am already tipsy from a concoction of Parfait Amour, Blue Curacao, Triple Sec, Contreau and Vodka. We're working our way through flavor groups, and orange seemed like the best fit. Anyway, I now have a mild headache, and even less drive to finish this paper.

Some habits die hard.
Thank you, UniG, you've taught me well!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mixology 101

CHILE CHILLER
(makes 1 drink)


A little spice added to today’s cocktails is all the rage. And fresh mint and cooling watermelon play a sexy counterpoint to the jalapeno in this summertime tequila refresher.


1 lime wedge
¼ cup watermelon chunks
3 sprigs fresh mint
1 sliced fresh jalapeno chile
1 ½ ounces tequila
¼ ounce melon liqueur
1 ½ ounces pineapple juice
Garnish: small watermelon triangle


Squeeze lime wedge into cocktail shaker, then drop in wedge. Add all other ingredients (except garnish). Fill a large glass with ice, then transfer ice to shaker and shake vigorously. Pour entire contents into large glass. Garnish with melon wedge.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

2009: We're Getting into Big Bitch Territory

The first thing I did in 2009 was pee on a fence in front of 40 people. I do not know whose house it was at, nor do I even remember where it was, but I'm sure the party-goers will never forget me. I'm getting ahead of myself however... 
Back in 2008, I was still hungover at 11pm; so I decided to chug 3 glasses of wine at my parent's party. I immediately threw up afterwards and was pretty sure the night was ruined. Fortunately, the next party included solo cups full of tequila. Unfortunately, I threw up a bit more before finally re-entering into the kingdom of DRUNK. This was when the party really started for me.
I don't really remember much of the party, but I do remember being locked in a car with a dog for awhile. I do not really understand how that came about, but it did. The best part of the night was when Liza and I did a second countdown at 12:03. The second best part was after said countdown when I was telling a story and a stranger walked up and  said, "we're getting into big bitch territory?" I have no idea what this meant, but I'm assuming it was directed at me... I also remember popping a lot of bottles of champagne that were definitely not mine, maybe this was why?
After the party, we went back to S's and got even more drunk. We ended up in the hot tub, and then got a tip that not so big A was seen at Taco C. I immediately called him and made him come over. It was kind of awkward since I hadn't seen him since our original 3-some. It was also kind of awkward because I apparently was incapable of proper communication at that point and spent most of the time screaming "WOOOHOOOO!!!" into Jtoy's face. He brought some 17 year old that Jpatt referred to as the "Twink Slave." I tried to get them to have a four-some, but that was bust. Additionally, the "Twink Slave" kept yelling at Jtoy because earlier that night, chez Taco C, she evidently cut him off in the drive-thru. I honestly don't remember any of this, but supposedly I tried to moderate and just kept repeating, "Well, as for me, I see both sides." Someone tried to make queso at four in the morning, they miserably failed, then I blacked out and passed out.
I woke up in a bed with two people I didn't at first recognize. I still have the worst headache in the world. I really hope 2009 is classier than last night. I also hope I can eventually stomach the idea of food sometime soon.
Cheers.