Showing posts with label Campari. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Campari. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Term Papers: Impending Doom or Happy Hour in the Model Home?

So my housemate, the every wonderful Princess Bitchette, and I have decided that our term papers (due in approx. 24 hours) are actually not that large of a priority. I have written a 3 page outline that I do not understand, and I have bullshitted two of the twenty pages. Here is my thesis:

"A primary occupation of the novel is the conflict between oral and literary practice and tradition, and the author’s insecurities highlight not only the difficulty of mediating two vastly different traditions of storytelling, but also the greater cultural difficulties that Chamoiseau’s authorial conflict allegorizes."

Anyway, this paper is clearly of high importance, and out of respect for my academic success, I decided I needed to take a break and refuel. Incidentally, Princess Bitchette simultaneously felt a scholarly break was needed. We set down our lappies and rendez-voused in the kitchen. What follows is more or less what took place:

Fig. 1. That is our "alcohol map." 

As Bichette and I snacked in the kitchen, we both realized that in less than a week we would be graduating, moving out, and leaving this chapter of our lives behind. There was clearly work to be done, and priority 1A was making sure that no child bottle of alcohol was left behind! We quickly mapped all the possible cocktail combinations, using a bottle of water as a stand-in for our vodka. The speed and alacrity with which this task was accomplished was truly astonishing, and UniGuantanamontrose has clearly taught me skills much greater than writing papers. An hour after the beginning of my "deserved break" and I am already tipsy from a concoction of Parfait Amour, Blue Curacao, Triple Sec, Contreau and Vodka. We're working our way through flavor groups, and orange seemed like the best fit. Anyway, I now have a mild headache, and even less drive to finish this paper.

Some habits die hard.
Thank you, UniG, you've taught me well!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Troubles on Campus

I am writing to inform all community members that the events of last night have officially caused the janitorial staff of the University to go on strike. At this time, we are uncertain of the repercussion of this, but we imagine Club Access and the SoMoToHo will probably not be in a sanitary state for the rest of the weekend. The deans are in discussion with the janitors, and both sides hope to have a speedy negotiation. The only campus facility still in proper condition is Club Bridge, as the recent low temperatures have led campus members to utilize other venues. Tonight, however, it is a balmy 63 degrees, and the faculty hopes that students will heed the advice of avoiding the above mentioned uncleaned areas in favor of Club Bridge.
That's all.
P.S. Mal will be happy to find plenty of HSGs accessing the 59.
P.P.S. We all hope this tempest will pass soon.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Re: On-Campus Drinking

The University's student pub/nightclub, ACCESS, offers a more legitimate alternative to the underground substance-infused scene at Club Bridge. The "Rosetta Stone" will serve as the signature cocktail at Access. Clearly Campari will hold centerstage:


Rosetta Stone

1 1/2 oz Campari
1/2 oz creme de cassis
2 oz club soda
1.57 ice cubes
blood orange wedge

Serve in highball glass.

If serving to underage girls, add 4 oz peach shnapps. Girls love peach schnapps.