Pop Quiz - "Blow me awake"

Please write, in whatever format you find appropriate, your thoughts on the concept of Text Message Booty Calls. Points to discuss include when (if ever) this is appropriate, how one should respond, what happens later if one rejects the offer and anything else you have to say on the matter.

50 Cent Fridays in GuantanaMontrose

Thanks to the combined efforts of the University Financial Aid Department and the Social Events Planning Committee, faculty, staff and students have a new place to cut loose on Friday nights. Formerly a diner owned by and named for a drag queen, the establishment has been remodeled and rebranded and is now the latest in a string of happening hot spots to open up in the neighborhood adjacent to the campus. Bayou City knows how to draw a crowd of thirsty folks who maybe don't have as much money to spend as they might like because of this economy...they offer well drinks on Friday nights for the amazingly low price of just 50 cents. As a self-appointed scout dedicated to finding all the best drink specials and fun places to party, I spent last Friday evening at Bayou City and discovered that it was a pretty good time, so I sent out the following missive to some of my fellow professors yesterday afternoon and the word spread from there:

"Fifty cent wells at Bayou City tonight...good idea or bad idea that we'll do anyway?"

I arrived early with Carl and we staked out a suitable area right next to the bar on the patio. Prof. Tim soon joined us and shortly thereafter a contingent of other professors and top graduate students arrived, already full of blue margs from El Patio. As more and more members of the UGMo community arrived, we rapidly took over a large portion of the patio and sometimes the dance floor inside as well.

Over the course of the night, the following things may have occurred:

1. Dean J.Toy tumbled off the stage where she had been dancing. She may have been pushed by Kathleen, a student who is rumoured to be pissed that the Dean wouldn't let her write a thesis about the effects of drinking 4 blue margs and/or Texas Teas in one night. The investigation is still pending.

2. A student who shall remain nameless danced on the bar with a fellow patron.

3. Carl referred to pretty much everyone as either Flapjack or Captain K'nuckles. They are adventurers.

4. I was forced to make many visits to the handicapped stall in the men's restroom.

5. Chancellor Steven invited people to post-party at his ToHo/his neighbor's ToHo. I arrived too late with Carl and Tour Guide Ray, after stopping at CVS and failing to be able to access cheap wine as it was almost 3am. The party was mostly over, so we left and brought with us the Visiting Professor of Europedancepop, who seemed to be in need of rescuing from some unknown fate that had her running around the ToHo sans pants.

6. There were many twinks and skanks present, so if anyone is in the market for a new twink slave or a skank...who is a skank...then this would be a good place to look.

7. Uhhh...probably a lot more things also took place but consuming a dozen or so 50-cent vodka tonics does not exactly lead to a good memory of the previous night's events. I invite others to add their recollections to the comments.

The Deans of LULZtography and Drama Llama Studies were sadly missing in action during this whirlwind of chaos and cheap shitty liquor. They will have to experience 50 Cent Friday another time. Or not.

A Rivalry is Born?

On Saturday night, several UniG faculty members attended an art opening at the Joanna, a small house-turned-gallery just on the other side of Club Bridge. A group of men calling themselves Sketch Klubb were the creators of the art. Here's an interview from Chron.com (via B.S. Houston Art Blog) with a couple of the artists, one of whom we talked to briefly and shall henceforth be known as Russell5.0:

A New Era for UGMo

Last night marked the beginning of what I assume will rapidly become the next insane chapter in the lives of the UGMo community. Guest Lecturer Mal has returned from her semester doing research on International Relations in Spain and soon Tour Guide Ray, Dean JToy and many others will be arriving in the 'trose as well. I predict things will soon escalate to a whole new level. What the hell am I talking about, things have already escalated. Armed with a bottle of Jack Daniels (always a dangerous situation for me...), I unintentionally wreaked havoc on my own life and likely those of my fellow faculty members. I'm not prepared to divulge the full extent of my actions in this public forum, but we'll leave it at the fact that it was yet another night that I should not have left the SoMoToHo. No stop signs or cops were involved this time, thankfully, but I really need to learn to listen when Prof. Tim attempts to remove liquor from my possession. With my history, I wouldn't be surprised if others also tried to protect me from myself, but at the same time, I can't remember it if they did...

Troubles on Campus

I am writing to inform all community members that the events of last night have officially caused the janitorial staff of the University to go on strike. At this time, we are uncertain of the repercussion of this, but we imagine Club Access and the SoMoToHo will probably not be in a sanitary state for the rest of the weekend. The deans are in discussion with the janitors, and both sides hope to have a speedy negotiation. The only campus facility still in proper condition is Club Bridge, as the recent low temperatures have led campus members to utilize other venues. Tonight, however, it is a balmy 63 degrees, and the faculty hopes that students will heed the advice of avoiding the above mentioned uncleaned areas in favor of Club Bridge.

That's all.

P.S. Mal will be happy to find plenty of HSGs accessing the 59.

P.P.S. We all hope this tempest will pass soon.