Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Reasons why EaDo maybe isn't that bad

EaDo* (East Downtown) isn't as bad as we think, although it is nowhere near as hip and gay as SoMo.

Reasons EaDo doesn't suck THAT hard:

1. Hipster parties
They're not that bad! Paul throws them with a bunch of hip hipsters in this big 'ole warehouse full of dark make-out corners. They might tell you to pay $5 for all-you-can-drink keg and bar, but the cover is really just a suggestion. I find it quite effective to slam down a crumpled one dollar bill, announce that it should cover all your friends, then make a mad dash to the pulsing— yes, pulsing— dance floor.

2. Ramesh from Voxtrot
Even though Ramesh thinks I'm totally crazy and in love with his guitarist Mitch, I still like seeing him every now and then and shouting maniacally, "RAMESH! RAMESH! You played at my friend's birthday party and you lived next door to Sparker and oh my god we're hanging out again. I'm like a celebrity, Ramesh!" He loves hearing stuff like that. Anyway, yeah, when Ramesh or any of the Voxtrotters are in Houston, they go to EaDo and play crazy after parties.

Last March's Voxtrot after party featured torches. How romantic and tribal and hip!

Then I climbed up onto this weird tractor thing with an indie guy in a funny hat! Look how happy I was! I haven't been that happy since, like, Ray was in town.

3. Drugs
Now I don't know about this one for sure, but when I was wasted and making out with some fixster (that's a fixed gear hipster, obvi) I think I witnessed a pot deal take place in a parking lot. EaDo is so dangerous that chances are you could find a dead body on the corner and just take the pot right out of the corpse's pockets and be on your merry way. Did you hear that? FREE POT!

4. Train hoppers
The last time I was in EaDo for that warehouse party I vaguely remember stumbling over some train tracks. Train tracks mean trains. And trains mean train hoppers!

(OMG, cute! According to the comments on the flickr account, his name is Poïo. Everywhere they went all he wanted to do was "watch America's Funniest Home Videos and go on 'dark missions.'" He sounds great!)

Train hopper guys also are pretty cool because you don't have to worry about them not calling you since they don't believe in phones and definitely don't have computers. Instead, they contact you through indie things like messenger pigeons and postcards from jail.

5. Dancing hipsters... and DANCING BEARS
If you don't like hipsters, then you probably like dancing. If you don't like dancing, then you probably like hipsters. And everyone likes dancing bears. Jacob Calle, (pictured below in yellow hoodie) has a bear costume and frequently wears it and dances around. He received media attention as the Hurricane Ike Bear.

Here is my cousin E-Patt (with raised arm) enjoying an EaDo party with Jacob. They're pretty fucking hip and do not go to parties with high school kids, just smelly fixster guys with skinny jeans and attitudes. If you still worry that the EaDo guys are in high school, rest assured that I ran background checks on the last six IDs I stole from Paul's party. Yeah, they had felonies, but they def weren't in high school. They dropped out of that shit years ago.

*For the argument's sake, I have included the perhaps too far north warehouse district in EaDo. Deal with it.


  1. Train hopping meets train spotting. Good idea, bad idea?

    This is a convincing arguement. My preconceived notions of anything east of DoTo are negative. The ship channel and its derivatives are like sausage or hot dogs. Don't wanna see the inside. Just good for the economy? Maybe I must broaden my horizons.


    What exactly is train spotting?

    Urban dictionary has failed me.

    Check out their two (conflicting definitions) of train spotting.

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  4. I don't care how much you can muster up about EaDo, I will never travel east of 288 or 59 North. Shit, I won't go anywhere Ea in general unless it's Hobby. Anything east of downtown might even be worse than OTL... perhaps even OTB?

  5. The post, however, is genius. Maybe we can import these novelties to SoMo?
    On second thought...