Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Puhleeeze

Apparently, we have competition. A nonexistent neighborhood has formed out of the ashes of Ike and possibly the warehouse party Hallie, Jpatt, Karate Kid and I snuck into last fall. This comes like "a unicorn getting punched in the face," a phrase used by one EaDo promoter.

Reasons SoMo (South Montrose) beats EaDo (East Downtown):
-SoMo has greater access to TAs and guys Jpatt thinks are cute. It's also closer to the toho residents' OTL physicians/therapists/hot tub.
-EaDo has greater access to the ship channel? idek.
-SoMo has both martini bars and numerous late night TexMex hotspots.
-EaDo probably does have Ninfa's on Navigation, but that is not where "the beauitful people meet to eat."
-SoMo is a much shorter walk from karaoke at The Cellar.
-EaDo may have a grafitti "art" gallery, but SoMo has a world-class university and a classy CVS with fun, "dynamic" employees.
-Amtrak does not service EaDo.

Both seem to be equidistant to Samantha Ronson's chosen venue, but we're working on an expansion project of the patio at the toho to lure her into our sexy domain.

5 comments:

  1. not to mention crime statistics.
    likelihood of getting shot in SoMo- 1:10.
    likelihood of getting shot in EaDo- 1:1

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  2. About this post:

    1. Love the nickname Karate Kid.

    2. I think there might be an equal number of guys JPatt thinks are cute in SoMo and EaDo. Remember that EaDo sometimes crowds all the city's hipsters into one warehouse. That's like, three SHSGs per square foot.

    3. Let's just include NoMo in this argument and thus hold that EaDo sucks because it doesn't have Poison Girl.

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  3. Points I'd like to debate:

    1. EaDo is not competition for SoMo. They have very little in common.
    2. Ninfa's on Navigation is probably way better than Chapultapec, even if it's not 24 hours and doesn't offer the Don Juan plate or the Sangria Swirl.
    3. Amtrak (the real one) probably DOES service EaDo...I vaguely recall an incident involving train tracks while we were trying to escape said warehouse party. In fact, the tracks serve as a border of this new district.
    4. I highly doubt those crime statistics. And one of the points of the EaDo development is to make that area safer. Besides, how many cars do we know of from personal experience that have been vandalized in SoMo recently? As well as other stolen property, etc. Maybe that's not the same as shooting, but...
    5. I'm pretty sure those hipsters crowded into the warehouse are not a part of this official EaDo plan. I'm also fairly sure their events are not particularly legal. And furthermore, did we even encounter ANY SHSGs at that party? Weren't most of the attendees in high school? This is not what we need.
    6. We'll have to get Prof. Tim to weigh in on this, but I think NoMo only refers to that area of Montrose located north of West Gray. Westheimer, and therefore Poison Girl, are decidedly central. Much like there is no reason to ever say CenCal in any discussion of the geographical division of California, I don't think CenMo is a very good name either. MidMo is better, but suggests more the region along the border of Midtown and Montrose...though really, if it were up to me, I'd call that Midtrose. As for the space between NoMo and SoMo...perhaps it's sufficient to just call that Montrose. Why not? It's where you'll find all the characteristic aspects of the neighborhood.

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  4. why are we all so brilliant and amazing?

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